An Arrival

Yesterday was trash day. Not too much excitement there. I know. I was gathering up all of the trash throughout the house. I was heading toward the garage and noticed all of my shoes were somewhere else. Ainzli's little (or not so little) slip on sandals were right there. "Slip them on?", I thought. No. Surely not.
Yes. My foot slid in. All too easily for my likings.

 An Arrival:

Wearing your daughters shoes.

I started thinking. I started to feel sort of "odd". My mind started rolling Out Of Control. All of a sudden I saw her at 25 years old. With a job. An apartment in some city. Me not seeing her everyday. Talking to her on the phone and her telling me all of her big plans.......... Woooooow. Slow down Mommy. She is, in reality, still only 9.

I hope all of her dreams come true. Well of course I do! The thing is.......she is needing me less. I suppose in the things that are important when they are smaller. The things I think I am good at. You know. Bathing. Feeding. Brushing her hair...... stuff like that.
We are beginning our climb into the area when what she will need from me will be "other things". Emotional guidance. Good advice. An uncondemning shoulder to cry on. I just don't know if I will be good at this. I will do my best. I hope that I have started down the path of giving her, "her roots and wings." 

I believe, "so far so good!"

Honestly, it is awesome to be able to raise a carefree child. She is not a worrier. Thank goodness. She is not a complainer. She very easily could be. She is not a score keeper. Unlike her momma.
This could all change. We are entering some very exciting years in her life.
I pray that if they do elude her for a brief time, they return to her. 

 Here  she is with our neighbor, Nolan. 

She is awesome with little people.

Ainzli and Stella.

 They have quite a connection.

 She can definitely make people smile.

It is one of her many gifts.

I realize that this was all over the map. I apologize for that. But maybe. Just maybe. You are raising a girl. That you wonder about some of this. You worry about this stuff. Gosh, I wish I didn't so much. Just know that there is one other momma out here who does the same.

I will do my best.
I will do what I feel is right.
I will succeed.
I will fail.
I will do what a good momma does.
I will love.
I will love with such fury that my fears will have nowhere to land for long.

Autumn:)