Growing in Grace

Shannon just said last night, "That girl is going to be the death of me." His comment was not in, "She's a brat. She doesn't listen. She's bad." sort of way. It was in a loving way. I hope that makes sense. Ainzli is kind, wants to make everyone feel included, conscience of other people (except for her sister, sometimes) and beautiful. At this stage, she is a scary combination for her parents. In a good way. I/We could not have special ordered a better kid. 

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I went to church camp last week for 3 days with Lillie. It was awesome (more to come). I get home on Friday night, after everyone else has gone to bed, and I am looking on Instagram. You see, Ainzli, has an account. I am psycho Mom, checking it all the time. Monitoring it. Following her. Following her friends. Just doing the best I can with this little bit of freedom we have allowed our 11 year old to have. I am starting to figure out what all of their lingo is. Oh my goodness, is there some crazy lingo spilling out of tweens! Hash tags, chopped up words, crazy names. I have run across some pictures from other kids, Ainzli and I talk about them. Almost always has to do with modesty. What is acceptable in our home. She gets it. We have had one hiccup with her. Shannon addressed it. We have moved on. So far, so good. 

So anyway, back to the Friday night. I look in her profile area and it says, "Taken" with a little purple heart beside the word! I know what this means from being a psycho browser on other kids accounts. I know who he is too. I check his account profile and sure enough, "Taken" with 2 little purple hearts!

What!

When!

How do I handle this?

God, give me the words to handle this.

I want my daughter to know that I will not be the blow up parent.

May wisdom flow from my mouth, my actions, and my heart.

Saturday morning rolls around. Shannon is at work. Everyone is up. Nothing. I have given her the chance to tell me. Heck, she could have text me while I was at camp. You see, that is not Ainzli. She has some "sneaky" running through those veins. 

It's afternoon. I am going for it. I ask her if she has something to tell me. She looks at my in puzzlement. So I just straight up ask, "Do you have a boyfriend?" I can feel that little bit of flutter in my voice. The small twinge of hope that maybe they both typed wrong on their accounts.  She looks a little awkwardly and says, "Yes." Ok, good. Not "good" as in, she has a boyfriend. "Good" as in, she told me. I had to ask, but she told me. I said "ok." And left it at that. 

We had a discussion later about how it all came about. Of course, it was all through text messaging. The boyfriend is Riley. We have gone to church with his family for 5 years. They recently moved into our school district. He seems like a nice kid. You know, all of the two words I have been able to pull out of him since I have known him. Anyway, he is Ainzli's first little crush. She has never been the boy crazy little girl. Never. So this past school year, I asked her if there were any boys she liked. You know, not Braxton or Luke (these two boys are her friends.). She told me, Riley. Ok, cool. He was never interested, apparently, until this summer. So, friend formerly mentioned, Braxton, text Ainzli about still liking Riley. She does. So then, Riley started texting her. Texting ensued. "Taken" status is where they are. 

Ainzli and Riley text, occasionally. 

It is cute. 

It is innocent. 

It is a first for us all.

Here's the other kicker. I had to tell Shannon. She says it feels weird to talk about it with Daddy. Ok. I get it. I told her that I understood, but that he must know. She said, "I know, Mom, (like I was an idiot. Thank goodness) but you tell him." So he knows now. I just told him last night. Hence the comment, "that girl is going to be the death of me." That is his girl. His love. His heart. And she is growing up. 

There are all sorts of things that are always running through my head. We are the parents of a fifth grader. A child who is getting ready to embark on her last year of elementary. A child that is earning more independence all the time. A child that is slowly, but surely, growing more beautiful on the inside and it is shining on the outside. 

Things in life are forever changing. Change is truly the one constant in all of our lives. And really, this whole boyfriend thing is not a big deal. It is her just being a kid. What is does make me realize, is that we cannot do this parenting gig alone. Nor do we have too. We have to give it up. We must pray daily for guidance, for wisdom, for His words to flow from us. Not our own. 

Be calm. 

Be firm. 

Be loving. 

Be His and He will show us His way. 

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"Thank you, God, for guiding us as parents. For revealing to us, your will, in our parenting for her everyday. Thank you for giving her a heart for other people. She truly is a blessing from you."