9.21.2011

Defeat & Disappointment

Ms. Ainzli is not going to be a student council member, at least in the third grade. Although, if you want to know my honest opinion, it wouldn't bother me if she doesn't ever run again. It hurt my heart so much for her. I didn't realize how I would feel about her defeat. And not in the crazy parent way, like the pride thing. Just how does SHE feel. 
They got off the bus (my little women are now riding the bus home, they LOVE it), and they both come running upon the front porch. I am sitting in my wicker chair, anxiously awaiting their return. Ms. Ainzli has this huge smile on her face. I didn't know if they would get the results the same day or not. She tells me that two other kids are the representatives from her class. She is not sad. She is her same old happy-go-lucky self. I LOVE this about her. Ainzli really doesn't show much expression. She never has. She can be hard to read sometimes. I just know that this will be a huge asset for her later in life. Guaranteed. Anyway. I am so proud of her. I told her over and over and over...........:)





So fast forward to late evening. She is in the bathtub. We are talking about people, books, events of the day.... just stuff.
I get down on the floor right beside the bathtub. She is looking at me. I at her. Her beautiful dark brown eyes. Her long light brown hair. Her cute little button nose. Soaking her all in.
She tells me that when she heard she didn't win her stomach hurt for a little bit. I told her I understood. I do. I told her that she can't always win. I told her that she did her best and she should be more than proud of that. I told her that SHE did her project. I also told her that she is beautifully and wonderfully made.
I realize there are great lessons in defeat. I know this. I understand this. It does not make it much easier for me to swallow. There are so many bigger obstacles and trials in our future. I am only skimming the surface. These are the roads ahead of me. Walking these winding roads with my children. Always being there for them. Being their confidant. Being their sounding board. Watching them. Holding their hand. Not holding their hand. Learning with them. Learning from them.

I am proud of you, Sis. So very proud.:)


No comments:

Post a Comment